Tweet and Tell

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140 characters. So many and yet so few. An amount that can get a point across, but still leave things to the imagination.

Oh, the things you can do with a Tweet. Having girl problems? Tweet about it. Watching a great game? Let your followers know. Promoting a cause? Spread the word. The possibilities are endless.

And in the sports world, it’s no different; Twitter has grown in popularity among sports reporters and sports fans alike. Funny tweets, serious tweets, stat-driven tweets, insightful tweets, they’re all there for Twitter users, but, amid the thousands of accounts, the good ones can be hard to find. Here are some of the Tweets from the weekend that stood out to me, along with some commentary.

#letsgetstarted

Could somebody tell the Ravens that they have a double-digit lead against TJ Yates and this game should already be over?-Bill Simmons @sportsguy33

Me: Sure, Bill, hold on I’m going to call them. Let me get them on the line.

Phone Rings

Coach Harbaugh: Who the hell is this? I’m in the middle of a game. Aunt Annie that better not be you! I told you not to call me when I’m coaching!

(to myself) Whoah! He responded. Crap! What should I say? I’ll break the ice first. you can’t go wrong with that.

Me: Hey Coach Harbaugh my name is Blase Capelli. My favorite color is green. I like playing Halo. I don’t like…

Coach Harbuagh: I don’t care what you don’t like. Why are you calling me?

Me: Well, my friend Bill wanted you to know that you have a double-digit lead and TJ Yates is basically giving you the game so it should be over by now.

Click

Bill, all I can say is I tried.

Just threw my hip out doing the “Raji”- 3guysinagarage @3guysinagarage

Does State Farm insurance cover that hip replacement or is it just a promotional thing?

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there – with a replay to overrule a fumble!-Mike Engel @michaelengel

More like, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there- with a competent referee that can distinguish a clear fumble.

Throughout the weekend the refereeing was above average. There were no calls that changed the tide of the game, or calls that made your whole watch party yell at the television, or calls that made your Uncle Ned throw the remote at the wall. But when Greg Jennings was ruled down, and then the refs confirmed the call, it was clear Bill Leavy missed the obvious fumble call. The packers later scored on that drive, and Packers fans everywhere had their hopes up for at least one more quarter. Thanks Bill.

Ball drops are killing the Packers nearly as bad as they killed boy bands.-Faux John Madden @FauxJohnMadden

But that hasn’t stopped them: boy bands all over are Tebowing in thanks of the creation of auto tune while T-Pain looks on in approval.

Put Champ on Gronkowski… Only hope.-Nick Wright @getnickwright

Well, really, the only hope for Denver was for Tebow to utilize his divine powers as the second coming of Jesus, and through his power, curse Brady and Gronk. But then again, Tebow would never do that, because that would be a sin, right? But then he could go to Mass on Sunday and ask for forgiveness and that would be acceptable, right? Good Lord, this mix of religion and sports is confusing me.

Haley…. I know it’s you calling the office and heavy breathing in the phone. I have caller ID! It’s my office now-Romeo Crennel  @Grandpa_Romeo

Wow, this was a serious weekend for Pioli and the Chiefs. Apparently Pioli wiretapped all the phones at the Arrowhead offices. Seriously Pioli? Like the Chiefs didn’t have enough problems already? With the lack of original ideas coming out of Hollywood, I’m considering sending this recent saga from the Chiefs Organization to a movie company.

Man (Pioli) takes over organization. Hires friend (Haley). At first, the friends get along, leading the Chiefs to a playoffs appearance. But Haley sleeps with Pioli’s wife (or Pioli sleeps with Haley’s wife, take your pick really). The good friends turn into enemies, as they fight throughout the season. Haley’s fired (the apparent bad guy). Pioli hires Crennel (Crennel would mostly be in the movie for comedic effect). Later in the movie, the audience learns that Pioli wiretapped all the phones and didn’t trust Haley or anyone in the organization. Pioli (the real villain) is overthrown by rampant Chiefs fans everywhere.

As for the casting, I see Denzel Washington with an extra 50 pounds as Romeo Crennel. For Todd Haley, I like Matt Damon. Damon has that “me against everyone” role down perfectly (see Borne movies). And finally for the man himself, Pioli, I would cast Jon Favreau (I have no idea how to pronounce the last name). Although relatively unknown, he was in Iron Man 2, and he looks almost identical to Pioli, so it will work.

The recent antics of Pioli has spawned a new movie for Hollywood: Drama at Arrowhead. Photo from Chiefscommand.com

 

Upon release of the movie, critics everywhere liken Drama at Arrowhead to Inception with its mind-boggling plot. All revenue from the movie is used to add secret cameras throughout Arrowhead, just so Pioli will know what’s going on everywhere at all hours of the day.

And for next week, if you want your tweet to be featured in this column simply tweet @kcyoungguns. It can be anything from a question to an insightful statement, from a unique observation to an insult, and everything in between. We would like to here it.

Blase Capelli

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